Retirement Community In Florida Bans Halloween

Is Halloween Too Scary?

FT. LAUDERDALE, FL.- Is Halloween too scary? A retirement community says yes. The residents at Rest Indigo Place have decided this will be the year they ban the so called ‘harmless’ tradition. “Just last year we had 13 heart attacks.” said Martha Hatchet who is 83. “That’s up from 9 last year and 6 before that” she cackled. Donell Glover another resident chimed in saying, “I’m getting too old for this sh*t..” The residents claimed the costumes kids have these days are too scary and don’t make any sense confusing some of them terribly. Perhaps one of the saddest stories was from Peggy Killings. “He died right in front of me…” as she began to cry. Her late husband Will Killings, apparently had a terrible fear of sponges. Something about the germs and how the sponge felt made him paralyzed with fear anytime there was one in the room, so they never had sponges their whole marriage. Then Halloween time was here again. The doorbell rang and Mr. Killings answered to give out candy, but he wasn’t prepared for what was to come next. There in the doorway was a giant yellow sponge with pants on. It was as if Mr. Killings’ worst nightmare and personal hell had just formed before him. The candy fell to the ground and his heart stopped instantly. “He fell down and died right there, why does a sponge need pants?” A very confused Ms. Killings asked. Unfortunately we didn’t have an answer to her question. What are your thoughts on Halloween? Let us know below.

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